Life can often hand us some pretty serious setbacks. These setbacks can come in many different forms. Maybe it is the ending of a cherished relationship. The people that we love can sometimes decide that they do not feel the same about us. I have seen many people go through this kind of anguish. It can often be the worst kind of hurt. Or maybe we lose our job. This form of anguish can be equally severe, but it is different than not being loved in return. Life may hand us a setback in the form of physical problems or sickness. It could be financial problems, problems with our kids or family members. Setbacks can come in the form of depression or other mental and emotional problems. It can come in the form of the death of a loved one. Regardless of how the setbacks come we can only be sure of one thing, they will come.
So what do we do when the setbacks come. I think that is as different as the people facing the problems. However, I found that the best way to handle setbacks is to make sure we get back in the game as soon as possible. By this I mean we have to keep moving forward. I am not suggesting developing a cold heart or a distant uncaring nature. I am suggesting that we do all we can to keep the positive things in our lives going. I see so many people give up on life when they face a major setback. They become so overwhelmed with grief that they lose track of the many positives in life. People often get stuck in feelings of remorse, guilt, fear, vengence, retribution, melancholy, anger, sadness, and host of others, that they have a hard time getting re engaged in life.
I have suffered from this many times in my life. I have been through things and just did not know any other way to handle them. I would see other people go through things and seem to have such a strength about them. They seemed to hurt but they had a knack for going on. I don't know if they ever got over what they were facing but they seemed to get through it. As I studied these people the magic that they seemed to possess was that they made themselves get on with life. This helped me to come to a realization for myself. These people didn't necessarily get over it, but they do get through it. They were able to get through it by getting back in the game. The game of life. They did things to bring meaning and purpose to life. That may have been through their vocation, their religion, their family, or by starting something new. They sometimes took on challenges that they wish they had taken on before. The big thing is they got back in the game.
Please don't get me wrong. I am not saying that grief and sorrow are wrong and I am not suggesting that I have some ability to be stronger than anyone else. I am just saying that I have noticed how others appear to be able to overcome major life problems. The trick seems to be having the ability and strength to hurt, and yet, get back in the game. To constantly move forward. Check out the following quote. I think it sums up the point hat I am trying to make.
Many of us unconciously create drama in our minds, expecting the worst from a situation only to have our expectations become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Inadvertantly we become authors of our own misfortune. And so we struggle from day to day, from crisis to crisis, bruised and battered by circumstances without realizing that we always have a choice...What if you began to expect the best from any situation? Isn't it possible that you could write new chapters in your life with happy endings?...Suspend your disbelief. Take a leap of faith. After all, what have you got to lose but misery and lack?
Sarah Ban Breathnach
Monday, February 25, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Growth.
As I was searching the blogosphere today I noticed an uncanny theme in numerous post. The theme seemed to center around believing in oneself and in your own abilities. Many of the post talked about recognizing your own strengths or having the values of an innocent child. Both of these are great ideas, but I could not help wondering why is there so much to say on believing in oneself and returning to childhod values. As I thought on this I came to the realization that it seems as we grow older the complexity of life seems to weigh us down.
I commented on a post at Trevor Gay's Simplicity site where he has a lively debate going on in regards to Complexity vs. Simplicity. Some people feel that they must be challenged by complex arrangements in life. Without this complexity they feel as though they are not challenged and feel bored. Others feel that they must have simplicity in their life or they become over burdened. I suppose when you think about it both are right. I need both in my life. I need the challenge that the complex presents. However, the challenge to me is to be able to break it down to simpler steps that I can master and gain control over. I am often guilty of taking on to much and becoming over burdened. When I become over burdened that is when I begin to struggle and wonder about my abilities. The struggle often comes from comparing myself with others who have been successful in similar sitations and marveling at their accomplishments.
I think it is like that with a lot of people. Life is often so fast paced that many times people can't keep up with everything going on in their lives. They view others that seem to achieve in similar situations and compare themselves in unfavorable ways. When the challenges become to great we often long for simpler times when we did not compare ourselves to the accomplishments of others. Back to the time when we met challenges for what they were, something to be learned from and built upon. When we were children we did not always know to compare ourselves to the rest of the world. We had our own little protected view of things and that was just fine. Failure was not defeat.Failure was met with the encouragement of those around us to keep trying. Every little accomplishment was applauded by those around us. We were encouraged to do more and try harder. Somewhere along the line as we grow older that level of support wanes and we become responsible to ourselves for our own encouragement. We can become critical of ourselves and others. The competition of life is on.
When you feel that the competition of life is bearing down on you try to remember to celebrate your accomplishments. Try to keep things complex enough to challenge your sense of adventure, but at the same time, keep life simple enough to enjoy it. Keep encouraging yourself and others to try a little harder and make a big deal over small accomplishments. And remember, "Until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective" Stephen Covey . Try to see yourself in view of your strengths. Never mind the comparisons with other people. There is always going to be those who do certain things a little better. You are that person in many instances. Each of us have our talents and strengths. That is what makes the world a beautiful place. Concentrate on what you do well. Celebrate all your strengths and be happy for your weaknesses. This is where true growth lives.
I commented on a post at Trevor Gay's Simplicity site where he has a lively debate going on in regards to Complexity vs. Simplicity. Some people feel that they must be challenged by complex arrangements in life. Without this complexity they feel as though they are not challenged and feel bored. Others feel that they must have simplicity in their life or they become over burdened. I suppose when you think about it both are right. I need both in my life. I need the challenge that the complex presents. However, the challenge to me is to be able to break it down to simpler steps that I can master and gain control over. I am often guilty of taking on to much and becoming over burdened. When I become over burdened that is when I begin to struggle and wonder about my abilities. The struggle often comes from comparing myself with others who have been successful in similar sitations and marveling at their accomplishments.
I think it is like that with a lot of people. Life is often so fast paced that many times people can't keep up with everything going on in their lives. They view others that seem to achieve in similar situations and compare themselves in unfavorable ways. When the challenges become to great we often long for simpler times when we did not compare ourselves to the accomplishments of others. Back to the time when we met challenges for what they were, something to be learned from and built upon. When we were children we did not always know to compare ourselves to the rest of the world. We had our own little protected view of things and that was just fine. Failure was not defeat.Failure was met with the encouragement of those around us to keep trying. Every little accomplishment was applauded by those around us. We were encouraged to do more and try harder. Somewhere along the line as we grow older that level of support wanes and we become responsible to ourselves for our own encouragement. We can become critical of ourselves and others. The competition of life is on.
When you feel that the competition of life is bearing down on you try to remember to celebrate your accomplishments. Try to keep things complex enough to challenge your sense of adventure, but at the same time, keep life simple enough to enjoy it. Keep encouraging yourself and others to try a little harder and make a big deal over small accomplishments. And remember, "Until we take how we see ourselves (and how we see others) into account, we will be unable to understand how others see and feel about themselves and their world. Unaware, we will project our intentions on their behavior and call ourselves objective" Stephen Covey . Try to see yourself in view of your strengths. Never mind the comparisons with other people. There is always going to be those who do certain things a little better. You are that person in many instances. Each of us have our talents and strengths. That is what makes the world a beautiful place. Concentrate on what you do well. Celebrate all your strengths and be happy for your weaknesses. This is where true growth lives.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
What is success?
What is success? According to the dictionary, success is a state of prosperity or fame. Success is very relative. Consider the homeless person.Certainly attaining a one-room suite with an efficiency kitchen and money to buy food would make this person feel very successful. Success is alsodefined as the favorable outcome of an attempt or endeavor.Should we be able to attain a status such as Bill Gates, that would certainly define success wouldn't it? You may feel that it would, but notnecessarily to everyone. Every rose has its thorn. Bill Gates is wildly successful in his endeavors; however, a status of that nature certainlywould require a lot of upkeep. He must stay on top of his game to stay there. Even Donald Trump can end up in bankruptcy. Do you really need toreach a Donald Trump or Bill Gates status to be successful and happy?Success means different things to different people. There are persons that would only consider themselves successful if they were to attain amulti-millionaire status. However, I don't believe that this is the case with the average person.I believe that success to the average person has another definition. The definition of success to the average person is FREEDOM. Freedom from being a slave to the 9 to 5 doldrums in a job they hate....Freedom from worry over bills......Freedom to spend quality time with their families andloved ones. One would not have to be a multi-millionaire to achieve this level of success. It depends on what makes YOU happy. Would you behappy in a two bedroom home that is paid for, driving a car that is dependable and paid for, while having the cash to meet expenses and have thetime to do the things you and your family enjoy, whether it be golfing, sporting events, travel to the beach, or entertaining your friends at home? Or could you only feel succesful with a ten bedroom home, a new car every year, the newest fashions to wear, dining at the finest restaurants?Both are levels of success to someone. Which is it for you? Obviously the first level of success can be fairly easily obtained, and woulddefinitely be less stressful allowing more time to be spent enjoying your success. Although the second is a very lavish lifestyle, it certainlywould require more effort to get there, and more effort to maintain it. We've all heard about the lottery winners who become bankrupt in afew short years because they didn't attend to their finances.Success is usually thought to be referring to a financial situation. As you can ascertain from the above examples, that is not alwaysnecessarily true. Success is very personal. What would it take to make you truly happy? It depends on your priorities. Is time with familyand friends without stress most important to you? Or is an outward show of wealth more important to you, even if it means less freedom?We have all seen the cartoons of the "successful" businessman living on the antiacids to try and control his ulcers. Is he truly successful?Maybe yes, but at a price. Consider this situation: the businessman (or breadearner) of the family is very successful in a financial sense.He has a fine home, is transported to his destinations by his personal driver, a loving wife, two beautiful children. The American Dream, right?Then look deeper. He spends everyday from 7am until 9pm at the office, or with clients. The wife has to have a life too, so she lives herown separate life attending luncheons, shopping, etc. while the nanny raises the children and the housekeeper feeds them. The nanny teaches the baby to walk, to say its first word.Really think about success. Success equals happiness right? Is this family successful? Anyone with children knows the joy of a toddlertaking its first step or saying its first word. I do understand that not all persons are interested in raising a family. They claim to be perfectly happyremaing single and childless. That is why I say success if relative to the individual.Think about your own personal situation. We instantly think that success means the mansion on the hill with a limo driver and a housekeeper.However, I don't believe that it takes that much to make the average person happy and successful.
Take Bold Action
Having the willingness to take action is one of the most powerful leadership tools I know of. Every great leader that I have ever studied or known had the ability to take action and to be decisive. By taking action leaders often make mistakes. However, it is this ability to take action and work through mistakes that sets them apart. Mistakes, setbacks, and failures are not viewed as things to avoid. Great leaders see these as opportunities to learn, grow, and get better.
The only true failure is the failure to act on an opportunity. I like the following quote by William Hutchinson Murray. I think it sums up the point very well.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves, too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
~ William Hutchinson Murray
The only true failure is the failure to act on an opportunity. I like the following quote by William Hutchinson Murray. I think it sums up the point very well.
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and endless plans:
That the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves, too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it! Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
~ William Hutchinson Murray
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
Whom Will You Love Today
Love always begins with the person closest to you. It does not begin with nameless and faceless people. It begins with those you sweat and struggle with--those who frequently disagree with you and put you down. That is why it is so hard. It is easier to love the world than your closest relative. The world is general. Your relative is specific. The world is vague. Your relative has character...Whom will you love today? ... It won't be easy. Love is never an option.
Jim Smoke
I really liked this quote. It goes along with a post from Liz Straus over at successful blog. She discussed the idea of being friends and sometimes not noticing little things from day to day and changes over time. She wondered that if you fail to notice these things can you call yourself a friend. I believe that not only can you call yourself a friend I think it somewhat natural that we do these things.
Those we are closest to are the ones we tend to hurt the most and the ones we take most for granted. They are the ones we let down the most. They are the ones we show our worst and often give them our worst. But, on the flip side, they also get our best. The nameless and faceless people will almost always get our courtesy and a kind word, but then we are off. We are off to share the rest of our lives, both the good and the bad, with those that we love the most.
At the end of the day I'll take those that love me. I'll trade all the kind gestures and sentiments to be with the ones whose character I know and trust. I'll take their company even if it is not warm and fuzzy or even if they are not on their best behavior. I'll take them with all their warts and wrinkles because they have taken me with mine. I am not saying that it is ok to behave in this fashion. I just know that it is a strange part of human nature.
Maybe the thing to do is to take some time to reflect on this matter. Maybe each of can learn to spread extra courtesy to those closest to us. Maybe we can take time to pay attention to specifics and learn more about our loved ones our friends and their character. Maybe we can take time to notice little things and changes in those close to us. If we do, then maybe our relationships can be a little richer as a reward.
Jim Smoke
I really liked this quote. It goes along with a post from Liz Straus over at successful blog. She discussed the idea of being friends and sometimes not noticing little things from day to day and changes over time. She wondered that if you fail to notice these things can you call yourself a friend. I believe that not only can you call yourself a friend I think it somewhat natural that we do these things.
Those we are closest to are the ones we tend to hurt the most and the ones we take most for granted. They are the ones we let down the most. They are the ones we show our worst and often give them our worst. But, on the flip side, they also get our best. The nameless and faceless people will almost always get our courtesy and a kind word, but then we are off. We are off to share the rest of our lives, both the good and the bad, with those that we love the most.
At the end of the day I'll take those that love me. I'll trade all the kind gestures and sentiments to be with the ones whose character I know and trust. I'll take their company even if it is not warm and fuzzy or even if they are not on their best behavior. I'll take them with all their warts and wrinkles because they have taken me with mine. I am not saying that it is ok to behave in this fashion. I just know that it is a strange part of human nature.
Maybe the thing to do is to take some time to reflect on this matter. Maybe each of can learn to spread extra courtesy to those closest to us. Maybe we can take time to pay attention to specifics and learn more about our loved ones our friends and their character. Maybe we can take time to notice little things and changes in those close to us. If we do, then maybe our relationships can be a little richer as a reward.
Monday, February 04, 2008
Where Are You Going?
The world stands aside to let anyone pass who knows where he is going. David Star Gordon
Successful people do not always have the most education or even the most business sense. They very often have one dominant quality. They know what they want and they believe that they deserve to have it. With this attitude in tow they tend to set about achieving what they want. I don't know if things just seem to work out for them as much as they just seem to have the perseverence to stand the test of time and trials. They don't easily give up or change their goals. They know what they want and are willing to do what it takes to get it. That may well be the greatest success secret that there is. You must first of all know what it is you want and truly believe that you deserve to have it. So, let me ask you the question, where are you going? Victor Frankl said that if you have a big enough why you can overcome any how. In other words, if you have a strong enough purpose you will be able to overcome all obstacles. If you know what you truly want the how to accomplish it will eventually come.
Do you know what you really want and can you make the world stand aside while you go after it?
Successful people do not always have the most education or even the most business sense. They very often have one dominant quality. They know what they want and they believe that they deserve to have it. With this attitude in tow they tend to set about achieving what they want. I don't know if things just seem to work out for them as much as they just seem to have the perseverence to stand the test of time and trials. They don't easily give up or change their goals. They know what they want and are willing to do what it takes to get it. That may well be the greatest success secret that there is. You must first of all know what it is you want and truly believe that you deserve to have it. So, let me ask you the question, where are you going? Victor Frankl said that if you have a big enough why you can overcome any how. In other words, if you have a strong enough purpose you will be able to overcome all obstacles. If you know what you truly want the how to accomplish it will eventually come.
Do you know what you really want and can you make the world stand aside while you go after it?
Thursday, January 31, 2008
INVICTUS
I read a really good book about a year ago titled the Impossible Just Takes a Little Longer. The Book was written by Art Berg and it served as the story of his triumphant life after a very tragic accident that rendered him a quadriplegic. Art uses the book to tell how the human spirit can conquer almost any obstacle. Art went on to live a very productive life after his accident. He states that his life was more rewarding after the accident than before. He accomplished incredible things in life. He became a world class wheelchair athlete, a very inspiring motivational speaker, A husband and father, and was even awarded his very own SuperBowl championship Ring by the Baltimore Ravens. Art drew alot of his motivation from a poem written by William Ernest Henley titled "Invictus". This became Art's battle cry "INVICTUS" I got the story of the poem from wikipedia to share with you. However, to get a real good understanding of the power of this poem you may want to get a copy of Art Bergs "The Impossible Just Takes a Little Longer"
Here is the wikipedia story on "Invictus"
INVICTUSAt the age of 12 Henley became a victim of tuberculosis of the bone. In spite of this, in 1867 he successfully passed the Oxford local examination as a senior student. His diseased foot had to be amputated directly below the knee; physicians announced the only way to save his life was to amputate the other. Henley persevered and survived with one foot intact. He was discharged in 1875, and was able to lead an active life for nearly 30 years despite his disability. With an artificial foot, he lived until the age of 54. "Invictus" was written from a hospital bed.
The Poem
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of Circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud.Under the bludgeonings of Chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the Horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Art Berg's life was a testament to the message he tried to get all to understand. It is not the circumstances of our life that determine our destiny, it is our response to our circumstances that determine our fate.
Here is the wikipedia story on "Invictus"
Invictus is a short poem by the British poet William Ernest Henley. The title is Latin for "unconquered". It was first published in 1875.
INVICTUS
The Poem
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of Circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud.Under the bludgeonings of Chance my head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the Horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find me, unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Art Berg's life was a testament to the message he tried to get all to understand. It is not the circumstances of our life that determine our destiny, it is our response to our circumstances that determine our fate.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Employee engagement
I was talking with a co worker today on the subject of employee engagement. We were discussing strategies for getting workers to feel more connected to their jobs and thus increasing employee satisfaction in the workplace. We discussed giving various employees responsibility for implementing new initiatives. This idea came from Trevor Gay an author from England and a good friend of mine. Trevor has written 4 books on leadership and management practices. One of his main tenets comes from his book Simplicity is the Key. Trevor makes the point to let the front line staff solve the problems because they know all the answers. As I think about this I realize that it has a lot of truth to it. When I read studies on job satisfaction and employee engagement I find that pay and work schedule are down the list of priorities on what makes employees happy. Near the top of the list is feeling valued and having the ability to feel as though one is making a difference. So, it makes perfect sense to give front line staff the opportunity to be in charge of new initiatives. As we begin to turn over these initiatives to the frontline staff the initial responses are favorable. I will have to keep a track of how they progress and what effect it has on productivity and morale.
Check out Trevor's Simplicity blog at http://simplicityitk.blogspot.com/ and check out the article that was recently published about his simplicity is the key theme in the New York Times and his his recent appearance on Fox Business Network TV
Check out Trevor's Simplicity blog at http://simplicityitk.blogspot.com/ and check out the article that was recently published about his simplicity is the key theme in the New York Times and his his recent appearance on Fox Business Network TV
Monday, January 28, 2008
How to be successful in two sentences.
Construct your determination with sustained effort, controlled attention, and concentrated energy. Opportunities never come to those who wait, they are captured by those who dare to attack.- Paul J. Meyer
I found this great quote via Cynthia Kerseys Unstoppable insights. I really like the statement it makes. Opportunity is not passive. Success is not passive. It is a verb. It requires concentrated effort and action. Success requires perseverence and drive. I like the wording of the quote. It uses so many elements necessary for success in just about any endeavor.Determination, sustained effort, controlled attention and concentrated energy. The one big missing element is passion.But maybe the quote is the very definition of passion. It is destined to be office posting material for me.
I found this great quote via Cynthia Kerseys Unstoppable insights. I really like the statement it makes. Opportunity is not passive. Success is not passive. It is a verb. It requires concentrated effort and action. Success requires perseverence and drive. I like the wording of the quote. It uses so many elements necessary for success in just about any endeavor.Determination, sustained effort, controlled attention and concentrated energy. The one big missing element is passion.But maybe the quote is the very definition of passion. It is destined to be office posting material for me.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Stick to Your Roots
I recently took some time to reflect on my professional life. I thought back on my successes and my many failures through the years. As I reflected I wondered what really shaped me a s a professional. Was it my education? Was it my years of experience? Certainly both education and experience played huge roles in my development. However, I realized it was the more than just education and experience. It was all the many people that I have met along my professional journey. Some of the people I met were a great influence in a positive way and there were some that I would rather forget. Now that I am looking back I realize that I myself have often been both of those kind of people. I have influenced some people in positive ways and others would just as soon see me on the side of the road with my car broken down. What causes us to be so different and what will determine our eventual legacy? At the end of my career will I have become someone that has benefitted my fieldof work and those that I have worked with and for.Or will I be added to the long list of bad bosses?
As I reflected on these questions I realized that my education is less of a factor than my experiences. It is my experiences that will benefit me more than most anything else. Those experinces are both personal and professional. My professional experiences are summed up in my interactions with good and bad bosses, employees, customers, meetings, business events, trips, and day to day grinding it out. My personal interactions have been far more frequent and varied. Certainly I have had the same good and bad interactions and experiences. I realized that personal lessons often came much mre mundane and routine interactions than in the professional arena.
Many of the personal lessons came when I was not expecting them. The times when I was young and I helped my father assemble some toy or help out in some household activity. They came by watching my parents work hard every day and come home play tag with us in the yard. It came when I watched my siblings get their first jobs, lose their first jobs, go on their first dates, graduate school, get married have their children. It came when my father gave me the speech about giving more service than you are paid for and then seeing him live up to it. The lessons multiplied when I started to have those sameexperiences for myself. They came when I saw my parents lose their jobs and not know where to turn, but they always knew what to do next, and that was to keep working at raising your family and finding a way to pay the bills. This was always by working. I learned that when times are hard you will put your life back together by working and rendering more service than you are paid to do. I learned that when I did things that were stupid and hurtful to others that I would eventually pay the price for those things. I learned that all things are created that way. You get back what you put in. Do good and you eventually get good in return. Do bad and you will eventually get the bad in return. Even when it doesn't always seem as though that is how it will work out.
I could go on for a long time talking of the different lessons. The real point is that I learned my most valuable lessons right at home. Not in school, college, or graduate school. Not at work, meetings, retreats, or business trips. My greatest lessons come from my roots. Maybe this is the greatest lesson of all, the realizing the importance of my roots. I only hope that I can live up to the lessons and pass them on to my kids. I do hope that they decide to pursue education, but I believe that it would be worthless if they failed to take their roots with them.
As I reflected on these questions I realized that my education is less of a factor than my experiences. It is my experiences that will benefit me more than most anything else. Those experinces are both personal and professional. My professional experiences are summed up in my interactions with good and bad bosses, employees, customers, meetings, business events, trips, and day to day grinding it out. My personal interactions have been far more frequent and varied. Certainly I have had the same good and bad interactions and experiences. I realized that personal lessons often came much mre mundane and routine interactions than in the professional arena.
Many of the personal lessons came when I was not expecting them. The times when I was young and I helped my father assemble some toy or help out in some household activity. They came by watching my parents work hard every day and come home play tag with us in the yard. It came when I watched my siblings get their first jobs, lose their first jobs, go on their first dates, graduate school, get married have their children. It came when my father gave me the speech about giving more service than you are paid for and then seeing him live up to it. The lessons multiplied when I started to have those sameexperiences for myself. They came when I saw my parents lose their jobs and not know where to turn, but they always knew what to do next, and that was to keep working at raising your family and finding a way to pay the bills. This was always by working. I learned that when times are hard you will put your life back together by working and rendering more service than you are paid to do. I learned that when I did things that were stupid and hurtful to others that I would eventually pay the price for those things. I learned that all things are created that way. You get back what you put in. Do good and you eventually get good in return. Do bad and you will eventually get the bad in return. Even when it doesn't always seem as though that is how it will work out.
I could go on for a long time talking of the different lessons. The real point is that I learned my most valuable lessons right at home. Not in school, college, or graduate school. Not at work, meetings, retreats, or business trips. My greatest lessons come from my roots. Maybe this is the greatest lesson of all, the realizing the importance of my roots. I only hope that I can live up to the lessons and pass them on to my kids. I do hope that they decide to pursue education, but I believe that it would be worthless if they failed to take their roots with them.
Monday, July 23, 2007
“Those who jump into the void owe no explanation to those who stand and watch”
A couple of years ago I was a member of the LEAD Program. The LEAD Program is a series of regularly scheduled classes that meets monthly for a yearlong course. The idea is for the participants to study and learn leadership skills that will help the students of the class develop into leaders for the Department. Through this course I learned that a leader must posses many qualities. Most importantly, I learned that leadership is not necessarily a position or a title. More than anything else leadership is a choice. It is a choice that is made over and over again. It is not as though a person is anointed as a leader and it is done once for all time. One must choose to lead over and over again. A very important point that needs to be made is that leadership can be either positive or negative. The choice is that of the leader.
Many people will question the fact that the leader chooses whether the path will be positive or negative. Debates can be waged that a leader can only lead those who are willing to follow. However, it is the leader that chooses. People want to be led and they will follow. The course that is set is done so by the leader. Just look at the various leaders in history. On one side you have Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King. These are the great leaders that used their skills to improve the social conditions for thousands. The benefits of their leadership are still being felt down to this day. On the other side of the spectrum there is Hitler, Idi Amin, and Saddam Hussein. These are people that had mass followings, but chose sinister means to lead towards destruction. The effects of their leadership remain a very real part of daily life. So, what is it that makes people follow certain leaders? Is it charisma, character, a set of common values? I don’t think it is any one thing. It is a combination of qualities, but I do believe that there is at least one common denominator for all leaders. That is their tendency to take action.
Leaders take action. They do not sit around and wait for fate or destiny to take care of things. For good or bad, leaders make things happen. They do not always wait for permission. They do what they feel needs to be done. Leaders are bold. They see what they want and they go after it. Very seldom do they hesitate. Leaders jump into the void. A leader is seldom deterred by the criticisms and cynical remarks of those who would rather stand by and watch. It is often hard for a leader to ignore the distraction of their detractors; however a leader presses on knowing that no explanation will satisfy the cynic. For every bold action taken their will be many cynics that will sit idly by and say how they would do it differently or how things would be better if things were done this way or that way. They are the ones that no explanation is owed. Their leadership skills and abilities have come to full fruition. They do not want to lead or to be led. They are happy staying stuck just where they are. They are afraid to take any form of bold action and become bitter that their situation never changes for the better. They wake up one day wondering why they have not become something better or why opportunities always seem to pass them by. They operate out of the fear that if they take bold action some cynic may criticize their efforts.
Yes, leaders are bold and it is true that leaders are often wrong. Leaders very often have more failures than success. Leaders are easy targets for those who wish to stand by and watch. Leaders are a minority. Great leaders are even rarer. Gandhi, Lincoln, and Martin Luther King faced many obstacles. The circumstances they faced were incredible. Most people believed that their goals were unobtainable. Their ideals were impossibly lofty. Most believed that their dreams could not and would not be realized. They were hated by many and opposed by most. However, their purpose was greater than their circumstance. Their ideas were bold and their actions were equally as bold. They changed the world with a bold and noble idea backed with bold action. Did they make mistakes? Too many to count, but that is not what matters. What matters is they jumped into the void.
You too can jump into the void of leadership. Develop a noble, just, and good idea. Make it bold and follow it up with noble, just, and good action. Make it bold action. Do not be afraid of failure or the cynic, there will be more than you can count. Just make your purpose stronger than the circumstance. Go ahead “Jump into the Void” and do not worry about explaining the fact that you have taken the leap to those who sit and watch.
Many people will question the fact that the leader chooses whether the path will be positive or negative. Debates can be waged that a leader can only lead those who are willing to follow. However, it is the leader that chooses. People want to be led and they will follow. The course that is set is done so by the leader. Just look at the various leaders in history. On one side you have Gandhi, Abraham Lincoln, and Martin Luther King. These are the great leaders that used their skills to improve the social conditions for thousands. The benefits of their leadership are still being felt down to this day. On the other side of the spectrum there is Hitler, Idi Amin, and Saddam Hussein. These are people that had mass followings, but chose sinister means to lead towards destruction. The effects of their leadership remain a very real part of daily life. So, what is it that makes people follow certain leaders? Is it charisma, character, a set of common values? I don’t think it is any one thing. It is a combination of qualities, but I do believe that there is at least one common denominator for all leaders. That is their tendency to take action.
Leaders take action. They do not sit around and wait for fate or destiny to take care of things. For good or bad, leaders make things happen. They do not always wait for permission. They do what they feel needs to be done. Leaders are bold. They see what they want and they go after it. Very seldom do they hesitate. Leaders jump into the void. A leader is seldom deterred by the criticisms and cynical remarks of those who would rather stand by and watch. It is often hard for a leader to ignore the distraction of their detractors; however a leader presses on knowing that no explanation will satisfy the cynic. For every bold action taken their will be many cynics that will sit idly by and say how they would do it differently or how things would be better if things were done this way or that way. They are the ones that no explanation is owed. Their leadership skills and abilities have come to full fruition. They do not want to lead or to be led. They are happy staying stuck just where they are. They are afraid to take any form of bold action and become bitter that their situation never changes for the better. They wake up one day wondering why they have not become something better or why opportunities always seem to pass them by. They operate out of the fear that if they take bold action some cynic may criticize their efforts.
Yes, leaders are bold and it is true that leaders are often wrong. Leaders very often have more failures than success. Leaders are easy targets for those who wish to stand by and watch. Leaders are a minority. Great leaders are even rarer. Gandhi, Lincoln, and Martin Luther King faced many obstacles. The circumstances they faced were incredible. Most people believed that their goals were unobtainable. Their ideals were impossibly lofty. Most believed that their dreams could not and would not be realized. They were hated by many and opposed by most. However, their purpose was greater than their circumstance. Their ideas were bold and their actions were equally as bold. They changed the world with a bold and noble idea backed with bold action. Did they make mistakes? Too many to count, but that is not what matters. What matters is they jumped into the void.
You too can jump into the void of leadership. Develop a noble, just, and good idea. Make it bold and follow it up with noble, just, and good action. Make it bold action. Do not be afraid of failure or the cynic, there will be more than you can count. Just make your purpose stronger than the circumstance. Go ahead “Jump into the Void” and do not worry about explaining the fact that you have taken the leap to those who sit and watch.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Do you have Faith?
To be able to lead in any endeavor one must posses a number of qualities. You can gather with any school of thought you desire when it comes to leadership and you will most assuredly have many debates about the qualities of leaders. There will be valid points made on more topics than I can fill this page with. Indeed, there have been numerous books written on this topic. I dare say that you could fill libraries with books written on the topic of leadership. All of them make valid points. I very much enjoy studying the topic. In doing my studies I have come to a conclusion. One of the most vital elements of leadership is faith. I am not sure anyone can lead well without faith. So then, the question is, what is faith?
Merriam-Webster defines faith as follow: 1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : Loyalty b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions 2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust 3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs
That is a great definition, but not what I was intending. I like the definition found at Hebrews 11:1 There it states "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. " Other versions read "The assured Expectation of things hoped for though not yet seen" That is the quality that I think leaders have to posses. They must have the assured expectation of things hoped for. All of the other qualities seem to be in support of this one quality. Or better yet, they are supported by this quality.
In my attempts with leadership I have never come up short on mission, vision, commitment, or any of the other important qualities. It has always been the faith or the assured expectation of reaching those goals. Especially when times seem the roughest. It is not the mission or vision that fails, it is the waning of faith. At least, that is how it is for me. I have to strengthen my faith by reminding myself that my faith has to support my sense of mission, my vision, my commitment. Faith has to be exercised with works or it becomes very weak. In fact, James 2:17 says that faith without works is dead. So, how far can leadership go without faith? How long will your faith hold up without supporting it with works? And when it is not going well, check to see where your faith is grounded.
Merriam-Webster defines faith as follow: 1 a : allegiance to duty or a person : Loyalty b (1) : fidelity to one's promises (2) : sincerity of intentions 2 a (1) : belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) : belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion b (1) : firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) : complete trust 3 : something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially : a system of religious beliefs
That is a great definition, but not what I was intending. I like the definition found at Hebrews 11:1 There it states "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. " Other versions read "The assured Expectation of things hoped for though not yet seen" That is the quality that I think leaders have to posses. They must have the assured expectation of things hoped for. All of the other qualities seem to be in support of this one quality. Or better yet, they are supported by this quality.
In my attempts with leadership I have never come up short on mission, vision, commitment, or any of the other important qualities. It has always been the faith or the assured expectation of reaching those goals. Especially when times seem the roughest. It is not the mission or vision that fails, it is the waning of faith. At least, that is how it is for me. I have to strengthen my faith by reminding myself that my faith has to support my sense of mission, my vision, my commitment. Faith has to be exercised with works or it becomes very weak. In fact, James 2:17 says that faith without works is dead. So, how far can leadership go without faith? How long will your faith hold up without supporting it with works? And when it is not going well, check to see where your faith is grounded.
How are we remembered.
This quote arrived to my desktop today via my Google home page "No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather." - Michael Pritchard.
At first I got a little chuckle from the quote and then it made think that we often give to much importance to our status and what we have. We tend to spend a great deal of time and effort pursuing "The Dream" The Dream is usually filled with accomplishments, money, material possessions, and some measure of fame. Many of us fall into the trap of believing that the more we have the more successful we are and the more successful we are the more important we are. We often push, rush, and hurry to get on top. We tend to forget the other things in life that are important. I know, I have done all these things. I am trying to concentrate on what really matters at this point in my life.
I do think it is important to have things. I think it is important to be successful. However, it is not important to have these things at all cost. I think the most important thing is to pay attention to how we treat other people. I find that truly being successful is helping others to become successful. The more you help others the more you seem to prosper. The other things will come in time.
At first I got a little chuckle from the quote and then it made think that we often give to much importance to our status and what we have. We tend to spend a great deal of time and effort pursuing "The Dream" The Dream is usually filled with accomplishments, money, material possessions, and some measure of fame. Many of us fall into the trap of believing that the more we have the more successful we are and the more successful we are the more important we are. We often push, rush, and hurry to get on top. We tend to forget the other things in life that are important. I know, I have done all these things. I am trying to concentrate on what really matters at this point in my life.
I do think it is important to have things. I think it is important to be successful. However, it is not important to have these things at all cost. I think the most important thing is to pay attention to how we treat other people. I find that truly being successful is helping others to become successful. The more you help others the more you seem to prosper. The other things will come in time.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Leadership and Communication
"Certainly a leader needs a clear vision of the organization and where it is going, but a vision is of little value unless it is shared in a way so as to generate enthusiasm and commitment. Leadership and communication are inseparable." ~ Claude Taylor
Thursday, February 15, 2007
How do you measure success?
How do you view failure? Do you have to reach your ultimate goal to be considered a success? I think that is the general way of viewing accomplishment. When you reach your ultimate goal then you are successful. I read a really good book that changed my view of success and failure. The books title is "Shackletons Way" The book is about the leadership practices of Sir Ernest Shackleton who was an Antarctic explorer. Oddly enough Shackleton never realized his goal of being the first to navigate to Antarctica. He failed on two attempts. So,as fate would have it, Shackleton is forever regarded as a failure, right? Nothing could be further from the truth.
Although he is unknown to many people, in some circles he is regarding as one of the great leaders in history. Shackleton lead 27 men into the Antarctic. Well into his journey his ship "The Endurance" became ice bound. Unable to fee the Endurance from the ice they had to eventually abandon the ship and watch it get crushed in the ice and sink in the frigid ocean water. With no way of communicating with the civilized world and floating on ice flows, Shackleton and his men set out on one of the most amazing and perilous adventures in history. With little provisions and minimal means of shelter Shackleton and his men survived nearly 2 years in the most incredible conditions imaginable. Shackleton and a couple of men eventually made a perilous adventure to navigate icy waters in trecherous conditions to seek help and rescue his men.
Shackleton was able to accomplish all this and he did not lose one single man. All 27 in his crew survived! What an amazing story. One well worth reading. If you get a chance pick up a copy and give a good study. You will learn some great leadership skills while being amazed at the courage of the human spirit.
Although he is unknown to many people, in some circles he is regarding as one of the great leaders in history. Shackleton lead 27 men into the Antarctic. Well into his journey his ship "The Endurance" became ice bound. Unable to fee the Endurance from the ice they had to eventually abandon the ship and watch it get crushed in the ice and sink in the frigid ocean water. With no way of communicating with the civilized world and floating on ice flows, Shackleton and his men set out on one of the most amazing and perilous adventures in history. With little provisions and minimal means of shelter Shackleton and his men survived nearly 2 years in the most incredible conditions imaginable. Shackleton and a couple of men eventually made a perilous adventure to navigate icy waters in trecherous conditions to seek help and rescue his men.
Shackleton was able to accomplish all this and he did not lose one single man. All 27 in his crew survived! What an amazing story. One well worth reading. If you get a chance pick up a copy and give a good study. You will learn some great leadership skills while being amazed at the courage of the human spirit.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Crisis As Opportunity
A high purpose lives against every species of opposition."
-Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell
-Dr. Elizabeth Blackwell
I really like that quote. There really is a lot in those words. When I think of the most successful people I know they are not the people with the most education or the most credentials. They are usually the people with the most tenacity. I have often wondered where that tenacity comes from. It is not the people that were the most popular in school. It is not always the ones that made the best grades or were the most athletic. It seems to be the ones that have a special ability to take a licking and keep on ticking.
Where does this tenacity come from? From what I can figure out it comes from having a higher sense of purpose. A purpose that endures all kinds of hardships and simply will not quit. People with this sense of purpose seem willing to go through whatever it takes to achieve their goal. When they have setbacks they do not give up.They may get discouraged, but they will not quit. They do not see problems as bad. They do not see failure as permanent. They do not see times of crisis as a time to quit. They see crisis as opportunity. A chance to learn and grow, an opportunity to get better. Failure is not bad, they see it as experience. Problems and failure do not define who they are. It creates the opportunity to define who they will become. It is not always the strongest, smartest, most credentialed person, or the lucky who come out on top. It is the ones that have a purpose strong enough to allow them to endure. It is those that can adjust to change and those who refuse to let problems define who they are.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
What Motivates People to Work?
In an article taken from www.peoplestuff.com.au
Surprise results may change the way you think!
An American magazine Psychology Today published some startling statistics, taken from a survey they conducted.
The question was; "What makes you want to work?"
The top 5 answers were astonishing to many people in management.
1. Doing work that makes me feel good about myself.
2. Accomplishing something worthwhile.
3. Learning new things.
4. Developing my skills and abilities.
5. Having a certain amount of freedom on the job.
Pay came in at number 12 - and Fringe benefits were a lowly 16.
Makes you wonder doesn't it? My thought on this matter is that people work more for an idea than any thing else. Viktor Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Stated that if you have a big enough why, you can overcome any how. Making money is important. We all have to eat and pay bills. However, it is the hunger of the soul that needs nourishing as much as the physical body. People want to give back. The old parable really rings true “there is more in giving than in receiving” There is so much talk about the power of “Intention” and “Abundance”. This survey really brings attention to this in a profound way. Success really does come from our ability to do things for others. That does not mean we have to take a vow of poverty or anything like that. I believe it simply means that we get more in return than we give. The laws of nature operate by this principle. When we plant seeds, we do not get a 1to 1 return. We often get much in return for the one seed. I think it is like that in our work. You have to give to get. I think that is a pretty good trade, “Give a little, and Get a lot”. Try to give back in some way today. It makes no difference if it is in a big way or in some small matter, choose to make a difference in somebody’s life. I think you will be richly rewarded for your efforts.
Surprise results may change the way you think!
An American magazine Psychology Today published some startling statistics, taken from a survey they conducted.
The question was; "What makes you want to work?"
The top 5 answers were astonishing to many people in management.
1. Doing work that makes me feel good about myself.
2. Accomplishing something worthwhile.
3. Learning new things.
4. Developing my skills and abilities.
5. Having a certain amount of freedom on the job.
Pay came in at number 12 - and Fringe benefits were a lowly 16.
Makes you wonder doesn't it? My thought on this matter is that people work more for an idea than any thing else. Viktor Frankl in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning” Stated that if you have a big enough why, you can overcome any how. Making money is important. We all have to eat and pay bills. However, it is the hunger of the soul that needs nourishing as much as the physical body. People want to give back. The old parable really rings true “there is more in giving than in receiving” There is so much talk about the power of “Intention” and “Abundance”. This survey really brings attention to this in a profound way. Success really does come from our ability to do things for others. That does not mean we have to take a vow of poverty or anything like that. I believe it simply means that we get more in return than we give. The laws of nature operate by this principle. When we plant seeds, we do not get a 1to 1 return. We often get much in return for the one seed. I think it is like that in our work. You have to give to get. I think that is a pretty good trade, “Give a little, and Get a lot”. Try to give back in some way today. It makes no difference if it is in a big way or in some small matter, choose to make a difference in somebody’s life. I think you will be richly rewarded for your efforts.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
How do you define your personal mission?
What is your personal mission. That is a great question and one well worth exploring. First of all we have to figure out what a mission is. To me a mission is what defines your life. It is your purpose in life. Many people claim lofty missions in life. They give verbal commitment to some pretty important causes. However, many times peoples actions are not in line with their claims. Have you ever met people that claim to be very devout religiously, but, are rarely seen in church. More importantly, their actions are not compatible with their claims. Many people claim to put family first, but spend the majority of their time trying to earn more money or get a pay raise. In my way of thinking your mission is defined by your actions. Simply put, your everyday actions prove the purpose of your life.
Take a little time to think about this. How do you really want people to think of you. What do you want people to say about you. Now and in the future. Try to take small steps today and everyday here after to live your life in pursuit of that purpose. Small steps eventually lead to great distances. Before you know it, your life will begin to take on a whole new meaning. You will have defined your mission in life. Your actions will be in line with your claims and your desires. You will be living a life of greater purpose.
Take a little time to think about this. How do you really want people to think of you. What do you want people to say about you. Now and in the future. Try to take small steps today and everyday here after to live your life in pursuit of that purpose. Small steps eventually lead to great distances. Before you know it, your life will begin to take on a whole new meaning. You will have defined your mission in life. Your actions will be in line with your claims and your desires. You will be living a life of greater purpose.
Friendship
I have studied leadership for the past several years. I have a real fascination for it. I marvel at the people that do it well. There seems to be as much a talent for it as it is academic. I think that certain elements of leadership can be taught and others are natural abilities. I do think that leadership can be taught and that just about anyone can become an effective leader, but that is a debate for another time.
I have discovered something in my attempts at learning leadership that I did not bargain for. I have learned the power of friendship. As I study and search for information I am continually coming in contact with some very interesting people. In fact, I have developed some very close friendships. My studies have led me to meet many fascinating people across the country and around the world. I now have friends in England, Spain, Canada, Australia, Nigeria, Hawaii, and in many states throughout the country. My desire to learn has grown into something much more valuable. My new found network has led to great discussions on leadership, culture, and a great variety of topics. Most importantly, it has taught me the value of good friends and the beauty of people across the globe. For this, I feel truly blessed.
I have discovered something in my attempts at learning leadership that I did not bargain for. I have learned the power of friendship. As I study and search for information I am continually coming in contact with some very interesting people. In fact, I have developed some very close friendships. My studies have led me to meet many fascinating people across the country and around the world. I now have friends in England, Spain, Canada, Australia, Nigeria, Hawaii, and in many states throughout the country. My desire to learn has grown into something much more valuable. My new found network has led to great discussions on leadership, culture, and a great variety of topics. Most importantly, it has taught me the value of good friends and the beauty of people across the globe. For this, I feel truly blessed.
When times are tough
The following quote arrived at my inbox thanks to todays TQ.
“My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate… at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in a maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, let up, or slow up.”~ Robert Moorehead
I thought this was a wonderful quote to help each of us revisit our since of commitment. When we face difficult times, we have to think about why we do certain things. If we are struggling in a relationship, this quote may help us to think about why we are in this relationship. Is the relationship more important than the problems? If it is our vocation that is testing us, we may think about why we have chosen a certain field to work in. Is it for convenience, or is it for passion?
The big thing is to think about the purpose of our involvements. If you have a strong and compelling purpose behind your actions, then you will have a strong commitment. If your purpose is weak, your commitment will be weak. Take some time out of your day to think about the things you are commited to. Think about why you have chosen to commit to these. As Victor Frankl states in his book Mans search for meaning “If you have a big enough why, you can overcome any how” Our ability to persevere is directly linked to why we get involved.
I just thought this was a great quote and I wanted to share it. You can find many quotes like this at www.thinktq.com Check it out. I think you will like what they have to offer. If nothing else you can capitalize on the many free things they offer.
“My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate… at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in a maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, shut up, let up, or slow up.”~ Robert Moorehead
I thought this was a wonderful quote to help each of us revisit our since of commitment. When we face difficult times, we have to think about why we do certain things. If we are struggling in a relationship, this quote may help us to think about why we are in this relationship. Is the relationship more important than the problems? If it is our vocation that is testing us, we may think about why we have chosen a certain field to work in. Is it for convenience, or is it for passion?
The big thing is to think about the purpose of our involvements. If you have a strong and compelling purpose behind your actions, then you will have a strong commitment. If your purpose is weak, your commitment will be weak. Take some time out of your day to think about the things you are commited to. Think about why you have chosen to commit to these. As Victor Frankl states in his book Mans search for meaning “If you have a big enough why, you can overcome any how” Our ability to persevere is directly linked to why we get involved.
I just thought this was a great quote and I wanted to share it. You can find many quotes like this at www.thinktq.com Check it out. I think you will like what they have to offer. If nothing else you can capitalize on the many free things they offer.
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